Winter is here, but it's colder on the inside

A Smaller God - by Darling Violetta


In the violent silence
Of a dream within a dream
You fill my soul with beauty
You're my shiny man machine
I'm sinking in the roses
Falling down to fade away
The velvet blade of apathy
Makes the crush so bittersweet

(CHORUS)
And I, I could have died last night
But I heard the voice of a smaller god
And I, I could have died last night
But I heard the voice of a smaller god

Your presence is the morning
Your absence is the night
I'm searching your dark hallways
Trying to find the light
Swimming your sad ocean
I'm drowning in your sea
This will all be over soon
And we'll learn to live again

(CHORUS)
And I, I could have died last night
But I heard the voice of a smaller god
And I, I could have died last night
But I heard the voice of a smaller god

In the evening stars I see your eyes
I hear you speak to me
I miss you now so much it aches
So broken so afraid

(CHORUS)
And I, I could have died last night
But I heard the voice of a smaller god
And I, I could have died last night
But I heard the voice of a smaller god

UVnation

I think the people who thought of the name for this event should have thought of a better one. More than once I had friends give me weird looks when I told them what I did in my 2 weeks back home. "What? urination?"

It was something like a large-scale clubbing event plus lotsa UV lamps like those you see in that glow-in-the-dark room thingy in Puzzle World. Very cool effect, especially if you wear white. :) Sorry, I left my physics behind along with the rest of my college knowledge so forgive me if I sound like a clueless bimbo. One whole level of the New Wing car park was converted to a dark but glowy ghetto dance arena. Hosted by Joey G, lotsa good music with DJs like Benny Benassi and a few others. Overall, it was a memorable and fun event. I haven't been out clubbing with my friends since... the last time I saw them! And it was good to see Erna again after so long... I can't remember the last time we went out together, girl! Hehe... though I'm not sure whether the whole thing was worth the ticket price. Quite ignorant about the clubbing scene too. But I do enjoy the occasional party with my dear friends. :P

L-R: Erna, Vee Han, Meng Lee, Andrew and me. The line into the entrance was so horribly long! Even though we already had tickets. People were queued in a packed line on the escalator all the way down 4 floors.

The whole place was bathed in glowy blue light and packed with people. The good thing bout having the event in a car park was that even though there were areas of dense crowds, there were some empty areas where you could escape to if you wanted a rest from the noise and sweat. :P And good thing the main arena was in the open-aired part of the car park. :P

Meng Lee hoisted me on his shoulders so I got a good view of the scene from above the crowd.

Meng Lee and me. :)

Return to the foreign land

After a slightly turbulent flight, I'm back in Adelaide. The 2 weeks back home passed by too quickly. It's always like that when you're having fun. Surprisingly, I managed to get all my luggage checked in without exceeding the baggage allowance. Even threw in Marieb at the last minute. Hehe... my mom was worried that she'd end up lugging back bags of clothes and paraphernalia from the airport. See Kakh? Believe in miracles and they will happen! :P:P:P

*Sigh* Not much of an appetite, but I've been eating junk here and there every few hours. It's freezing cold now. The room temperature is around 15 degrees. Outside, it ranges between 4 and 15. The bathroom light is still out of order, I've resorted to ***ting by candlelight... Gotta start getting things fixed, but I'm just too damned lazy.

I'll be starting Acute and Chronic Care 1 (Orthopedics) in the Royal Adelaide Hospital next Monday. Apparently the program there is really full-on. Looks like I'll be going to the hospital before sunrise and leaving it after sunset. Wonderful way to spend my winter, no?

Happy Fathers' Day!

The title says it all. :P Went out with him and my mom to eat his weekly lui cha, a traditional Hakka dish comprising of vegetables, taufu, nuts and soup. The soup can look a little too greenish for the uninitiated, and it's taste definitely takes getting used to. But I totally agree with my dad that it's one of those little Hakka treasures worth savouring. My dad's Hakka by the way. I'm an embarassment to the Hakka clan as I can't speak a single word of the language. Not only is lui cha healthy, it also makes a deliciously satisfying meal. My dad's completely hooked on it. Goes to Puchong nearly every weekend with my mom to eat it for lunch. Haven't really spent a lot of time with Papa since coming home. Mainly 'cos he's always busy at work and comes back late at night. Even when I was still hanging around in Malaysia, he was pretty busy and such. But anyway it was good to enjoy a simple lunch with him again today. Love you Papa! And though it may seem that we (my sisters and I) don't pay heed to what you say ('cos we've heard it a hundred times?) we really, really, REALLY do appreciate all the advice you've given us. Thank you for a truly wonderful father and may we continue to learn from your wisdom. Have a safe journey to Germany. Love you always. :)

Musings

Andrew and I were walking to the bus stop near Kota Raya, after meeting up with Meng Lee and Vee Han for lunch. I spotted a little makeshift biscuit stall selling all sorts of classic goodies like siew pao and biskut telinga. The stall was basically a flimsy wooden table set up what looked like the entrance to a backalley. A typical slimy KL drain ran in between the legs of the table. The stall was ran by a little old Chinese lady who sat on a stool by the drain, gazing serenely at the busy KL street. I picked up a packet of biskut telinga and handed RM2 to her. She smiled sincerely (you can tell that as the smile didn't just stop at her mouth. Her eyes were 'smiling' as well), and commented in Mandarin that he (Andrew) was quite good looking. Heh. She must have thought that he was my boyfriend. :P And then we continued on to Kota Raya and subsequently hopped on a bus back to Subang.

The point of all this is that Andrew pointed out something interesting about the old lady. You know how you see some poor soul sitting by the roadside, living in squalor and relative hardship? Most of us would feel pity for them. But as for the old lady, she exuded an air of serenity. She smiled happily and looked as if she was exactly where she wanted to be in life. It was difficult to pity such a person. Many of us will spend a lifetime chasing our dreams and needs, our greedy desires. Let's say we do achieve them. How many of us would be satisfied? It's a vicious cycle that keeps on turning. I wish I could be like her one day. And I don't mean selling biskut telinga by the roadside. Hopefully when the time comes, I can be at peace with myself and my life.

God, it's so good to be home. I think my boyfriend is a little shocked by my voracious appetite. Polished off a whole bowl of Uncle Lim's curry laksa and kopi cham on my own while I was out with my mom (according to Darling usually it takes 2 girls to finish that bowl of laksa). And the day before was maggi goreng ayam + nasi briyani + chinese dinner feast. *Sigh* At the rate I'm going I'll gain more weight here than I have in Adelaide. Cannot cannot... Must cut down my intake tomorrow already... -_-"

Anyway... just when I thought I had a pretty depressing 22nd birthday last week, I got the best present a girl could ask for. Arrived in KLIA on Saturday night feeling horribly worn out. Despite that, I was really happy to see my family again. Was about to make my way to the elevator when I turned around. What I saw shocked me to point of tears.

All my Subang friends were standing in front of me with Darling holding a beautiful cake lit with candles! Blowing out candles in the airport, that's a first. Seriously guys, just the sight of all of you after these 5 months is the best thing I could wish for. Thanks Vee Han and Andrew for organising that fantastic belated birthday surprise! *Sniff* Love ya all lots!!

Home really is where the heart lies. :)

Announcement

Hehe... in the midst of preparation and (laziness) during the last week of my rotation, I forgot to announce one very important thing.

I'M GOING HOME TO MALAYSIA TODAY!!!

*Jumps for joy* Yes! I get to see my family and friends! And food! Home-cooked food! Hawker food! Mamak food! Heh... I think my housemate would be happy to get rid off me as I've been rubbing it a little to his face. :P Can't help it!

My flight out is at 11.55a.m. Will be transiting in Singapore for a few hours before flying home. Better get ready. :)

P.S.- I passed my Medical Home Unit Rotation!! *breathes a sigh of relief* Though for all things to come out for an OSCE, it was the thing that I didn't pay attention to: Parkinson's disease. Ugh. Thank goodness for Dr. Koblar, who showed us how to a directed exam for a patient with Parkinson's. And thanks to Bryan whose 'random patient hunting' coincidentally led us to a Parkinson's patient!